Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
