i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
