is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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