We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
