I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
