Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
