I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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