Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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