You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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