Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
