IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
