so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
