I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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