i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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