hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
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