someone threw a dead crab at me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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