Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
