redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
