Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My balls are so social today.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
