She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you inspire me to be a worse person
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
