I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
