Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
