We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
