Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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