I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
