I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
