My room smells like vodka and shame
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
