I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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