I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
