yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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