I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
