using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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