i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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