All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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