Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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