I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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