we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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