It's Friday. Sex?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
