She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
