ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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