you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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