Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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