we made out on top of his cat.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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