I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
