didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
