My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
