Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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