they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
