i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
