just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
