literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
