dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
