He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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