.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
