She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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